Jos Biggs has had enough of August !! Read on :-

I’ve heard that there is a Rule of Six: A person can survive for 6 minutes without air, 6 days without water and 6 weeks without food.

I never intend to test the trueism of this statement, but presumably somebody did. 

I want to add another trueism: It is my own personal one, and whereas I haven’t actually perished in the proving of it I maintain that I can survive no more than 1 day in August without air-con.

I wouldn’t be happy, but I would survive adequately if not comfortably without: My car, my microwave, my hob, my fridge/freezer, my telly, my phone, my computer and printer, and if we are talking about August then I would add clothes - bed or personal, or both.

Must-haves would be: Running water to include a toilet, loo paper, toothpaste, soap, and a roof over my head.

So I would be: Living naked in my carport, nice and fragrant with spectacularly clean teeth in a cool stream of air wafted at me by the air-con.

However, I have spotted a flaw in this idyllic hermit’s life style - electricity! I need it to run the air-con. And if I’ve got electricity I might as well have my microwave, my hob, my fridge/freezer, my telly, my phone, my computer and printer! And of course my house - all these luxuries will have to be put somewhere!

The only thing that I can think that I might be able to do without is clothes. But then I would have no pockets, so where would I put my hankie - please don’t answer that one!!

Thank goodness September is just round the corner -I’ve had enough of August, which seems to have gone on forever, much longer than a normal month usually takes!