An amusing tale to brighten up your Boxing Day from Jos Biggs  . Enjoy

My next door neighbours, Eric and Anja, have been very kind to me in many ways, and I wished to show my appreciation in the form of a decent Christmas present.

I thought about this for many a minute and came up with a solution which to me filled the criterion of Decent Christmas Present - a garden ornament.

I am aware that garden ornaments come in two sorts - the sort which ornament a garden and the sort which are toe-curlingly ghastly. I am also aware that the dividing line between the two sorts is hairline thin and dependant on the taste of the viewer.

But I was lucky; in Organica I found an angel - not a real one but a cement one.

She is semi-recumbent, with her chin resting in her hand, which in turn is resting on her knee. I liked her, so I hoped Eric & Anja would too.

Getting her into the car was easy - the lad carried her and packed her securely in the back. I formulated a devious but cunning plan - I would ask Eric to lift her out of the car for me, at the same time asking his opinion on the desirability of the angel as a permanent garden resident.  

Unfortunately the cunning part of the plan failed at this point. I opened Henry’s boot, indicated the angel, and requested he put her in the handily placed wheelbarrow. As he did so I asked, all innocence, ‘Do you like her?’

Eric, tactfully but with typical Belgian directness, answered ‘Not a lot.’

So now what? I can hardly give a Christmas present to someone who likes it not a lot! Eric’s frankness had caused me to be the reluctant owner of a cement angel. I surveyed the garden bleakly; nowhere was crying out for an angel, whether cement or celestial.

Then inspiration came to me, possibly through the divine intervention of the angel’s boss.

‘Can you put it here?’ I queried, indicating a space next to the spot where my husband’s urn is semi-buried. Not completely buried, about 3 inches of the top is above ground, so that he can see what is going on in the garden.

So now my husband in his urn is guarded by: a Dalai Lama, a terracotta warrior, 2 dragons and an angel. He can rest in peace - very secure peace!