Oh dear, Jos Biggs  having problems with a delivery !!

I ordered Si the cat’s plug-in calmers from Zooplus, which was not a problem in itself, but persuading Banco Santander to allow me to pay for my purchase with my money, drawn from my account was!

Eventually I prevailed, and as usual requested the order to be delivered to Girasol in Calle Malaga - asking for something to be delivered to my house in Limaria is as impossible as asking for it to be delivered to Alpha Centauri in the outer rim of the galaxy.

So far so good. Then:

The phone rang - a minor miracle in itself. ‘Hello Cho-se-feen Mari, this is Sonja.’

‘Hello Sonja.’ ?Who’s Sonja?

‘I have your parcel. Will you come and collect it?’

‘No. You deliver it, please.’

‘I have it here in my shop.’

‘I want it delivered.’

‘But I have it. You have to come and get it.’

‘No I don’t. You have to deliver it.’

‘But I have it here, in my shop in Tijola.’

‘I want it delivered to Girasol in Albox.’

Pause.

‘Albox?’

‘Yes, Albox.’ I didn’t add ‘not Alpha Centauri,’ I thought it might not be helpful.

Another pause.

‘Please, where is Albox?’

I was temporarily stumped. How do you explain to a GLS delivery driver where Albox is? I changed tack.

‘Do you have Sat-nav?’

‘Yes.’

‘Put Albox in your Sat-nav and it will tell you how to get from Tijola to Albox.’

Pause.

‘I don’t have an address.’

‘Yes you do. It’s on the order form.’

Silence.

‘I want it delivered to Calle Malaga in Albox.’

‘I don’t have the number of the piso.’

I couldn’t be bothered to look up the exact number, so I answered ‘You don’t need a piso number. It’s a shop. It’s called Girasol. It’s in Calle Malaga in Albox.’

‘I can’t deliver it there. I need a piso number.’ 

‘No you don’t. You deliver it to the shop with the sign outside saying Girasol, in Calle Malaga in Albox. You don’t need a piso number.’

It was a case of immovable object and irresistible force, and I was the force.

‘I have paid for delivery to Girasol, Calle Malaga, Albox.’

‘I can’t deliver it today. It will have to be Monday.’

‘Fine. On Monday I will collect it from Girasol in Calle Malaga, Albox.’

I wonder if she will. Or will I have to go to Alpha Centauri to collect it? I’ll have to wait and see!