There is always a story if if Jos Biggs buys something for herself !!
To celebrate my hopefully fruitful visit to Endesa to sort out the King’s ransom that was my latest electricity bill I bought a lion. I had planned on buying a sheep, but they didn’t have one, so I bought a lion instead.
Getting the lion into the car was no problem - a swarthy South American, about 5’4” tall and much the same width across the shoulders put him in for me.
Getting him out was another problem altogether. As usual in moments beyond the capabilities of a Biggs I called upon Eric.
I did stress the words Very Heavy and Mind Your Back, and after a short initial tussle Eric agreed with me - it’s too heavy and too awkward for one, it needs two people.
‘I’ll ask Stuart and Robert’ I said as I disappeared in search for them.
I found Stuart, but Robert was out.
Once more I stressed to Stuart that it was Very Heavy, Mind Your Back, adding It Needs Two People.
Stuart surveyed the lion and agreed it did need two. ‘I’ll get Jane. She’s strong.’
Strong she might be, but she’s not very tall; though thinking about it that is actually an advantage when it comes to lifting things.
Before commenced the Lion Lift Stuart put on his General’s cap, planned the campaign and mustered his forces - both of us. I fetched the wheelbarrow, placed a plank on it side to side and positioned it behind Henry’s boot, ready to receive the lion.
Stuart and Jane tilted the lion, got their hands underneath and lifted it from the boot onto the plank. I offered encouragement and Mind Your Fingers.
Stuart manoeuvred the wheelbarrow, complete with it load of lion to the place by the back door where I wanted it. I fluttered round ineffectively.
Once more they tilted it, once more I took up the Mind Your Fingers refrain, and before I’d reached the second verse the lion was resting royally on the ground.
He now reclines calmly and majestically, the guardian of my back door as he surveys his domain.
I’ve decided to call him Eric. He just doesn’t look like a Stuart - and he’s definitely not a Jane!
