Oh dear !! Jos Biggs Henry is playing up again.

I suppose that it had to happen one day. 

I can’t remember how old Henry is exactly, but he must be 6 or 7. Over the years he has attracted a variety of ailments, fortunately all of them minor, but nevertheless needing hospitalisation, or at least Out-Patient care.

I will not point out at this juncture that his predecessor, Del, who was part of our family for more years than Henry is old, never needed hospitalisation, not even when I reversed him into an oil barrel. Del was tough; he would blow his nose and get on with it.

If Henry were a person I expect that his bathroom cabinet would be full of remedies for every sort of minor ailment you can imagine. Tough Henry is not!

I was on my way back home when Henry’s red light came on, accompanied by a loud scream. ‘Stop!’ He screamed.

I eased him to the side of the road and stopped. His display showed a red thermometer. I make no claim towards mechanical knowledge but I knew this was not something to be ignored. I got out my phone to summon help, and discovered that this particular spot in the road had no signal.

Now what? There was no way I was going to be able to walk home, neither could I plead for a neighbour to come to my assistance. There was nothing for it - I would have to go into Damsel In Distress mode and throw myself on the mercy of passing motorists.

I stood myself in the shade of an almond tree and worked hard at Method Acting my version of Maiden In Need of Assistance.

I had stood there for no more than a minute when a large car pulled up alongside. I answered the question before it was asked. ‘No, I’m not alright.’

‘They’ say ‘Never get into a car with a strange man, far less two strange men.’

I would point out that these were not strange men, they were Good Samaritans, and they took me swiftly and smoothly back to my home without prevarication.

It was very kind indeed of them to offer assistance to a pretty young maiden stranded by the roadside. It was a pity that on this day there was no pretty young maiden - the best they got was me! No part of me warrants the above description!