From Lola at Coviran Arboleas.

For your information.

On Saturday 1st May 2021 the Store will be open from :

9am to 2pm

The real story of St George & The Dragon. Maybe ?? Well Jos Biggs version for you !!

The 23rd of this month was St George’s Day. Apparently not a lot of people know this – despite being England’s Patron Saint since the 14th century only 1 in 4 people know this, while only 1 in 5 know when his Day is! 

Poor George!

Personally, I’ve always doubted George and his dragon slaying story. It certainly wouldn’t work in this day and age. Can you imagine the fuss and furore? 

For a start I am sure that if there were any, then dragons would be a protected species, and slaying them would be a huge no-no! So George would be in deep trouble of all sorts; For instance the BBC, who were planning a special Dragonwatch programme with Chris Packham and Michaela Strachan, and with a follow-up programme narrated by David Attenborough.

Steve Backshall, who has had to re-title his programme about dangerous wild creatures from Deadly 60 to Deadly 59. 

The Friends of the Dragon Group, who have no idea what they want, except that none of them are virgins, and therefore quite safe from dragons, which are ever so sweet and sadly misunderstood.

But this is now, and that was then, so here is what I think happened: 

Scene: Somewhere rural in Italy.

George’s wife, Mrs George, noticing that George had been a very long time milking the goat, went to find out what had kept him.

As she rounded the corner to the goat pen she came across George hurriedly pulling his trousers up and Maria, the local olive baron’s beautiful but less than virginal daughter, buttoning her bodice. 

‘Hello dear. You’ve been a long time milking that goat. Gave you trouble, did it?’ Cooed Mrs George.

I can explain’ flustered George.

‘Oh yeah?’ responded Mrs George.

Maria giggled.

‘See, I heard this noise up by the cave, and there was this terrible great dragon, and it had got hold of Maria….’

‘Tore my bodice’ interjected Maria.

‘And I had to save her, didn’t I?’ 

‘He killed it dead.’ Maria added, nodding vigorously. ‘With his sword.’ She liked a good story. 

George squirmed. He would have preferred ‘chased it away’ as a less complicated and more believable option. 

‘I’m sure he did’ Mrs George purred. ‘Quite dead. But where is its body?’ 

Oh Zeus! George thought. Now what! Then inspiration came to him. ‘It’s a mythical beast – as soon as I killed it, it just vanished into thin air. Poof – no body!’ He waved his arms to demonstrate, and his trousers descended round his ankles once more.

‘Of course. But I didn’t know you had a sword, dear. Where is it?’ Mrs George cooed.

George gulped. Sweat beaded his brow. ‘I found it on the ground. And those boys must have run off with it afterwards.’ He added quickly.

‘That would be Carlos the blacksmith’s boys, wouldn’t it?’ queried the dangerously calm Mrs George.

George nodded, and retrieved his trousers. Maria giggled again. She was no stranger to the blacksmith’s boys.

‘Right.’ Mrs George folded her arms emphatically. George quailed. Suddenly dragons didn’t seem so bad. ‘Here is what we do. You, Maria, were on your way to see the blacksmith’s boys when a dragon jumped out at you.’ 

Maria gawped at Mrs George. ‘I was? It did?’

‘And you, George, frightened it off by waving your trousers at it.’ 

He goggled at his wife. ‘I did?’

 ‘Yes, you did. Now you, Maria, get off down the forge. Hang out with boys your own age. And you, George, get that damn goat milked.’

‘And what are you going to do, dear?’ George enquired shakily.

‘Me? I’m off to have a word with Maria’s Dad. If there is going to be any trouble over this, I’m going to get my story in first. You’ll have to make your own supper, and don’t wait up, I’m going to be late.’

Later that evening after a couple of flagons of wine Mrs George and the recently widowed Sr. Bertorelli (Maria’s Dad) agreed that Maria should join the Convent of the Immaculate Conception and George should be declared a Saint and sent to Libya, where there were rumours of a dragon terrorizing a town. 

And they all lived happily ever after, particularly Mrs George and Sr. Bertorelli.

From Clare Shirley 

Just to remind you. All Restrictions remain in place and the Andalucian border will remain closed as they postponed the meeting they should have had last week until next week.