Further to my post that Jos Biggs story fans will not hear from her this week, well Jos has posted this story. Its not what we can expect next week. Have a read below.
Apologies for the delay - there was a Situation in the Biggs household this morning. I’ll tell you all about it next week - I need time to recover my composure!
I have every sympathy with those ubiquitous black beetles that seem to specialise in falling on their backs – they are unable to right themselves; they just lie there feebly waving their legs until a passing human turns them the right way up.
Here’s why:
I emerged from the pool after a refreshing swim, sat on my poolside stone seat, dried myself and got up to go inside before I frazzled.
Somehow, I’ve no idea how, I caught my foot on something and unintentionally descended to terra firma.
I lay there on my back, jammed in between the metal frame tower that offers support to my wisteria and the stone seat, and wondering what was going to hurt most when I got upright again.
With that thought in mind I began to reverse the falling down process to the standing up process. My head was jammed up against the metal tower, my legs were trapped by the stone seat.
A vision of the beetle came to mind. However, a passing human was unlikely, so I’d have to right myself on my own. Carefully I wriggled myself a bit sideways, discovering as I did so that gravel is not a feather bed, and wriggling on it hurts.
However, I got my head out of the wisteria; now all I had to do was free my legs. I had nothing that I could hang on to, except perhaps the wisteria, which would in no way have been robust enough to offer assistance.
It’s amazing what you can do when you are desperate – I managed to wriggle myself into enough space to allow my legs freedom.
Now all I’ve got to do is get up. Getting up from floor level is well nigh impossible for me unless I am the right way up and can hang on to something solid, but I was on my back. Somehow I managed to roll over on to my side, lever myself up on my arms, and from there into a sort of Yoga Downward Dog position.
I’m still not in a position from where I can get up, but I managed a snake-like manoeuvre until I could grab hold of the seat.
And so, slowly and with the utmost dignity, I arose.
I am none the worse for my fall, except for a new found affinity with beetles and a spectacular bruise in a place which is not on show to the public!






