Hello again Pack and Neighbours,
One of my duties which I fell into was to watch the Formula One Grand Prix with male staff. He soon appreciated my grasp of racing strategy and tyre choice as well.
I was just settling down to a peaceful Saturday, nice walk, not too early out of my bed then, I was given a bath! Ok they lit the wood burner so I dried nicely, or should I say steamed. This is going to take a lot of rolling in L'eau de Fox to get my comfortable smell back. But then a couple known to male and female staff arrived with the Child from Hell.
He kept poking and prodding me when he wasn't dismembering furniture, ornaments, etc. Eventually male staff said to Child from Hell, "shall we go down to the beach with Skye?" I groaned, normally the beach would be fun (as long as it is not raining). Off we went, as we neared the beach I heard male staff say to Child from Hell "don't throw stones around Skye, she was frightened in her early life having things thrown at her". Needless to say Child from Hell started to throw sticks as we met the high tide mark. Male staff again said "don't throw anything around Skye", so Child from Hell started kicking pebbles. Well I thought time to have a career change. We were approaching the Blue Bird Cafe which has an outside seating area set below the beach walk. There was a splendid looking family eating at the first table, I'll approach them I thought. Mum, Dad, two well behaved offspring. I licked the Dad's ear for sympathy as I passed. Sadly he was drinking a cup of coffee, he leapt up to greet me, I thought, however his coffee sprayed over him and the immediate area. Ooops this may not be my finest hour.
Male staff rushed over to pacify my new friend, I saw another table further on, but however, looking back I observed male staff shouting my name with my lead in his hand. I leapt onto the next table to introduce myself to the four ladies, but sadly placing my paw in one of their plates of food, I skidded the length of the table and landed on the floor, more shouting, then I saw a black Labrador under a table and dived down there for a peaceful chat. At this point I saw male staff handing money over to all the people I had tried to introduce myself to. Wow, I thought, has Male staff had a mental abberation ? He is usually begrudging of opening his wallet in fact, he is just a skinflint normally. I see he has a downcast Child from Hell with him and he is heading my way with a determined look on his face.
I said goodbye to my new Labrador friend as I am dragged out from the table and my lead is clipped on. Off we walk home in silence with Child from Hell scuffing along behind Male staff and I. At one point Child from Hell said "I wasn't really bad was I?", male staff answered curtly "Yes". Eventually we arrived back at my kennel where upon I sat on female staffs lap well away from Child from Hell, whilst male staff went into the garage muttering, to play with pieces of wire hopefully to garrotte child from Hell once and for all. Child from Hell and his keepers climbed into their car and drove away without a wave. Male staff muttered to female staff "Cost me sixty five quid".
I thought I should report that the pair of my staff are on drugs! They get up at 6am, half way through the night. A dog needs its rest, no thought for me, on goes the light, gadzooks!! I wisely stay in bed at 6:30 they are gone and he returns around 7am, whilst I don't raise an eyelid, as I do not wish to encourage this behaviour, back to sleep for me until after 9am. Which is when I amble through for my breakfast before another stressful day supervising and organising staff, walking staff and planning the days jobs.
After my leisurely breakfast, male staff and I would go to visit the factory and the race shop where male staff and DT his pal would discuss the technical aspects of race car engineering, under my direction of course, then at 5pm male staff would leave for the station in the vain hope that Southern Rail would deliver female staff back on the same day, at approximately the same location. This did not happen most days, the errant train arriving at Barnham station often and Ford sometimes.
Friday nights we would often walk along to the Tudor Rose Inn for supper, I would lead, being the Alpha pack member. One particular Friday, staffs sister and brother in law arrived to stay, so I lead the four of them up to MY pub. We arrived at the door only for male staff to hold my lead back and open the door for female staff and guests. Well, remember the pack order, I wriggled out of my collar and rushed into the bar which was full of the weekenders. I saw male staff raise the lead with the now empty collar and show it to female staff, who glared back. I saw this nice young man sitting on a settee, so I jumped on his lap to engage him in conversation, whilst I heard my staff searching the bar. Eventually female staff spotted me and rushed over saying to the man "I think she likes you", to which he replied "I like her too", unsurprisingly. My collar was replaced and I sat under their dining table teasing a golden retriever on the other side of the room.
Winter arrived which brought the log burner into play, oh what joy to lie on the mat in front of a glowing fire on a cold evening with staff at my beck and call. Male staff and I would journey up to the wood yard for sacks of logs. After explaining to male staff on the previous occasion the correct and most efficient way of loading the "dogmobile" we arrived one chilly afternoon. He backed my car up and opening the tailgate he proceeded in his slovenly way to load the logs in. "No", I shouted leaping out of the tailgate, but sadly I misjudged the drop. Why don't these two paws EVER listen to a simple instruction ? Next thing I am in the animal hospital ! After removing my dew claw and an overnight stay, I was returned to staff. With a very shamefaced male staff who also had to explain the circumstances to female staff upon her return from work the evening of my injury.
A few months later there was much discussion about rail strikes, cold winters and general complaining by the staff. They became very active and my kennel was tidied, painted, and generally made to look the part. I allowed male and female staff who I was slowly getting house trained, to take a few days off in June. They went to go and find my kennel in the sun, so I went to stay with my lovely dog sitters who actually took me down to the New Forest for a holiday. Staff returned in glee on June 9th to say that a new kennel had been reserved in a place called Arboleas and we would be leaving on July 9th.
Shortly before we were due to leave Ferring, I took male staff around to say goodbye to a couple of our neighbours. It was a lovely sunny day, Female staff was at work and we were sitting in our friends garden when joy of joy's a Fox walked along the hedge. Well, off I went to say hello, but Mr Fox had other ideas. I following him rushing the width of the garden. A usefully placed compost heap acted as a launching ramp for Mr Fox, anything Foxie can do a Romanian space engineer (me) can do and I hurtled over the 6 foot fence. Male staff of course panicked and I heard him trying to clamber up the fence whilst shouting my name. Actually I realised that Mr Fox was too fast for me, so I ambled out of the garden and went around to sit at the front door of our friends house, only to have male staff trip over me as he hurtled out of the front door. Oh dear, I thought, I hope he can still make my supper ? Male staff sat up, glared and muttered (he does a lot of muttering), whilst I walked back into the house to let our friends give me some more treats.
After much clearing and packing the day arrived, the dogmobile was stuffed to the gunnels with a crate for me to recline in placed just behind the front seats with its hatch open so I could recline in comfort whilst directing staff. Off we went through France, a night stop then staff got themself in a tizz.
They had an ancient sat nav, we were sailing merrily along when we came to a junction. Barcelona to the left somewhere unpronounceable to the right up a narrow steep road. I said Barcelona, the sat nav said unpronouncable so we turned right, I groaned, common sense, I said to male staff, is left but no. Our overloaded, barrel shaped Renault Scenic 1.4 wheezed and shuddered up this twisty road, being overtaken on blind bends by enormous trucks, and it rained! After we left the Pyrenees behind hours later and a deafening silence between Male and Female staff the rain stopped and we finally returned to the route we should have been on. We were in Spain!
The following day we were in Arboleas and stayed with my good friend Angel at the Azbache, now Male staff displayed some frailty and threw a tantrum saying "I am not buying my new home on Friday 13th", so we stayed with the lovely Angel for one more night. Having said that we were invited out on the night before the purchase for supper at the Pool Bar, with at our new neighbours, the oh, so lovely, Sue and Alan Pearce. I was told that they preferred cats ! We shall see about that I thought. I was formally introduced, I went over to cat lover Sue and sat on her foot and looked into her eyes. Bingo love at first sight and Alan too.
The following day I got the keys to my new kennel, staff threw off their clothes and leapt into the pool, whilst I averted my eyes from this ghastly sight. Now we are home.
