Good day pack,
It's been along time since I strolled along the Mediterranean with my staff, but now I am told it will be possible. I'm sure the Ducks and Moor hens really miss me. I’m so pleased it will soon be time to top up my tan!
The mask wearing and local restrictions by the 2 paws are working. But as my other doggie friends have agreed, it has been a nightmare trying to amuse the staff and keeping control of them as well as the drinks cabinet.
On the upside I get to take them out for several short walks and in the course of this meet up with my doggie neighbours. We swop lockdown tails (note joke). On one of these trips, I invariably speak to my friend Buddy, a similar rare breed to myself. We exchange pleasantries and little doggie boasts as one does. I said to Buddy “For supper, I am served chopped up egg from the speckled hen (as Male staff describes it) with biscuits”, as I recline on my cream leather sofa. “Oh and he feeds me by hand until I get to the yolk”. Buddy responded with, “I get fed by hand for my supper too and I have a fried egg for breakfast which is cooked in butter!” Now although I am not usually competitive a fried egg cooked in butter? Yum, I wonder if Male staff knows how to cook eggs Benedict? That will get me noticed by my friends.
On the domestic front I have noticed both Female and Male staff’s work rate has diminished and when I have challenged them; I have been told that pandemic fatigue is a symptom identified by the WHO. I do observe that this phenomenon is inversely proportional to the level in the cooking sherry and Larios bottles. I struggle to maintain discipline sometimes and despite keeping the drinks cabinet key about my person I have yet to discover how staff accesses it.
Male staff often sings annoying and tunelessly, some snatch of a song relevant to the present time. It used to be ‘Gotta pick a pocket or two', which I believe referred to my roots but I soon stopped that behaviour and told him he would be dismissed and reported. Then a piece of popular music of his past. Latterly he sings “77 Sunset strip", as he goes about his menial tasks which refers to his birthday event imminent. I believe this is meant to remind me to create some gift or festive event for him, however, what it reminds me,is that if our new found freedom continues, it is time to replace him with a younger more active model and female staff agrees too. I need staff to carry out the tasks while I am worn out doing the thinking around here.
Male staff has been lighting my fire as it’s been a bit cold lately. Once it’s got a nice glow I move from my couch cushion to a very nice thick carpet in front of the fire. Male staff took me out the other day and I got rained on!!! I don’t know how many times I've told him “I don’t walk in the rain” I had to drag him home very quickly but still got wet. Female staff dried me off and talked gently to me, soothing my shattered nerves.
Male staff has arranged for me to have drops on my back instead of that horrid grey collar, I really didn't like wearing two collars as it really played havoc with my fur. Now I have drops and my fur is starting to look wonderful again. It may cost a bit more but I’m worth every cent. After all if it wasn't for me both these two paws would be lost.Now if Male staff could find a way of not putting me in the shower, to get me clean. It takes me a month to get my eau de cologne smelling just right, then Male staff dumps me in the shower. He is so thorough that he washes my derriere!! Can a girl have no privacy!!
Well pack, keep your staff under control, muzzles, gels and, I sigh at this point, tell them to be sensible if it is within their abilities. Under these rules your staff will be around to serve you for some years (unlike my Male staff) that will shortly get his P45.
Dogs rule
Skye of South Los Garcias,
The Right Honourable but you don't need to kneel
