Beaky

I have acquired a bird* – ask not how!

He arrived a couple of months ago, and took up residence on top of my sideboard, opposite the chicken. Having spent his early life in a garden he was a little faded and sad-looking, so I resolved to paint him.

First I had to get someone to lift him down from his perch, then I had to buy a suitable paint, probably from the Chinese, and only then could I commence to rejuvenate him. 1 and 2 were easily achieved; then I was faced with the nub of the problem – painting him.

I assembled the various coloured paints and found a paintbrush. I carried him outside and put him on a newspaper. I stood back and surveyed the scene, and decided that glasses were necessary. I fetched my glasses.

I started on his body with yellow, mixed with a cream colour to make him less startling – he’s not a canary! That went well, except that the paint pulled back a bit when it dried, but it didn’t look too bad. Then I moved on to red for the top of his wings and some of his tail. That too went well, so eagerly I moved on to green for the middle of his wings and some more of his tail. That too was fine, so full of confidence I moved on to the blue. This was going to be the trickiest – all around his face and chest, his wingtips and some more of his tail.

I opened the blue, and discovered that it was black. So I hurried back to the Chinese to get some blue. Confidence undaunted I returned, opened the blue, dipped my brush and took a goodly dollop.

I might as well have used washing up water! Where I had painted there was virtually no evidence of paint, just a damp patch with the minimal indication of blue! I painted his blue bits over again. And again. In short I painted his blue bits 6 times before achieving sufficient coverage. It’s not so much the number of times I had to repeat my labours, it was more the number of times I had to be careful not to go over, or smudge, his lines – I had 6 smudge opportunities – never have I concentrated so hard!

By the time I had got to coat #6 I had had enough! If this coat isn’t sufficient, then I’ll…..I left this resolution hanging in the air! Fortunately for the bird and my temper coat #6 seemed to be OK. I stood back to admire my work.

All I’ll say is that from a distance he doesn’t look too bad! He’s back on the sideboard, where his magnificence is on display for all to admire, and where nobody can get close enough to criticize!

*He’s not a real bird, and neither is the chicken.