Bah Humbug? Me? No!
But I will have to have a word with the misguided person who last Christmas sent me all sorts of unsuitable presents; Swans and Lords and Pipers, etc. All not only unsuitable, but a downright blooming nuisance to get rid of! Have you ever tried to persuade a charity shop to accept 8 milkmaids complete with cows?
So this year I am publishing a more suitable list:
- Partridge cooked in pear sauce. Mmmm!
- Cooked pigeons – I love pigeon!
- Roasted chickens – the ready cooked ones from Mercadona will do
- Roast ducks – I love duck too!
- Cooked geese – and goose, I love that as well!
- Cooked swans – I’ve no idea what swan tastes like, but if it’s good enough for the Queen it’s good enough for me.
- Pints of Jersey milk
- Night blooming jasmine, Dama de Noche.
- A painting of the Lord of the Jungle, the lion, preferably leaping. I only want one, there are only so many walls upon which I can hang a picture
- Boxes of Highland Shortbread, featuring pipers on the lid
- Boxes of Highland Shortbread, featuring drummers on the lid. I am very fond of shortbread.
I would also like an enormous freezer; There is no way all those cooked birds will fit in the one I’ve got!
If you've been good boys and girls Jos Claus will post an extra pre-Christmas thought on Wednesday.
