A Story of Scissors and Eggs

Just before Christmas my kitchen scissors absented themselves.

I can’t imagine why; I was a good owner to them. I treated them with kind consideration and kept them nice and clean tucked up in their drawer ready for use when required. But they’ve gone – utterly vanished!

In the wild hope that they’d turn up again I held off replacing them until this week. Finding myself in the vicinity of Mercabox I decided that enough futile time had elapsed and I would buy a replacement.

Of course, as usual, I couldn’t find kitchen scissors, so I asked, and found myself following a pleasant girl to somewhere where I had previously looked.

Obviously I hadn’t looked hard enough, because there they were – two sorts, green or pink. However, these were not kitchen scissors as I know them Captain. I understand a top blade and a bottom blade which intersect to cut whatever it is I’m cutting, but these had 3 top blades next to each other and 3 bottom blades in the same configuration. What’s all that about?

Never mind – right next to them were ordinary 2-blade scissors with delicate ladylike blades and ornate golden hand grips. I left them – I think 10 minutes useful service was probably the most I’d get out of them, even if I did look Absolutely Fabulous while using them.

Despondently I turned round, my scissor lust unrequited. And saw frying pans, teeny weeny frying pans!

I suppressed a giggle – they would have looked so at home in a child's’ My First Cookery Set. I picked one up; it was a real frying pan, just very very small. The light bulb of inspiration clicked on in the murky gloom of the seldom used part of my brain given over to culinary matters. They would be perfect for frying eggs.

No matter how hard I try my fried eggs always look as if they’ve been delivered by helicopter – they have the Splat Factor. But now, with my tiny pan, I would have fried eggs that looked like fried eggs, not an inkblot test for the mentally disturbed.

I bought a baby blue one, washed it, and put it to use. I now have round symmetrical fried eggs of which I am very proud!