The Dye is Cast

‘Do you have any shoe dye?’ I asked from a socially correct distance.
‘Yes, brown, black and white.’

‘Oh.’ I replied, in a voice laden with disappointment. ‘I wanted blue.’

The young man exited the safety of his Perspex protected counter, rummaged around on the shelf among the brown, black and white, and triumphantly handed me a box containing a bottle of Marine.

Returning home I set my stage for dyeing; Pinny, table, newspaper, white sandals, red boots and a small pastry brush – which was never likely to see service as a pastry brush, not in my house, at least!

The bottle had one of those caps where you have to push down and turn at the same time. I pushed. I turned. I pushed and turned. I swore, and took it next door. Corine next door pushed and turned, and not being a fool, passed the recalcitrant bottle to her husband, Alain, who, faced with two females who were unable to cope, had to prove his male prowess.

Now I was away! The white sandals became blue, and so did the left boot.

One bottle is enough for 2 sandals and 1 boot, but not 2 boots, so I hurtled down to Guzmann’s to secure another bottle before Blue Dye Rationing was introduced.

Back in my porch I repeated the push/turn scenario with no success. I can’t go next door again – once is a favour, twice is pestering! Desperation gave me strength, and the cap eventually capitulated, but the bottle got it’s own back by tipping up.

For those who do not know, dye goes straight through newspaper and penetrates marble indelibly and permanently. Despite my speed of mopping up, I now had a partially blue marble table, not much dye, and a red boot.

Perhaps it’ll be enough. It wasn’t.  So I went back to Guzmann’s for Marine #3. This bottle was much more obliging, and in short order the pastry brush and I were blueing the red boot.

Job done, and all I had to do was clear up – and sort the table out! The table had a splodge on it which looked exactly as if someone had spilt dye on it. So in the spirit of If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em I deployed the remainder of the bottle of blue by painting the table blue all over.

It looks good. So do the sandals and the boots.

My hands, and in particular my fingernails, don’t look so good – just very blue!